Monday, July 29, 2013



Let's copycat most cyclists and ignore stop signs. It will save us time by making for quicker trips and will help the environment and our cars.
Let's just roll our cars through stop signs if we see no one is coming. And if traffic is really bad, we could just switch to the sidewalks or cross with pedestrians at the lights.
I drove from the Humber to downtown at 7.45 a.m. and found that thanks to the police ticketing offenders, few parked car were blocking a lane of traffic, just one or two cyclists in each block.
My trip was swift. All the drivers around me were rushhour hardened so there was no dawdling and no stupid quick moves. Can't say the same for cyclists who whizzed by on both sides of the car at lights and swayed towards passing cars occasionally like a cow heading for the barn.
The cyclists were a pretty sight. No, I'm not talking about that Star picture showing a nude cyclist. As a veteran of bike hikes, that sight caused parts of my body to seek refuge inside.
No, I'm saying that cyclists are so much more distinctive and flamboyant than those drivers hunkered down morosely behind the wheel,
Some the other morning wore so much gear, I figured they had taken a wrong turn in a tour in France or Italy. There were even flowing pretty skirts fluttering in the breeze beneath purses, bags and baskets which jutted out at alarming angles as traffic squeezed by.
And no one was shouting curses at drivers. But then it was early and I guess they weren't warmed up yet.
I was driving down one of those endless side streets the other evening where the neighbourhoods have persuaded City Hall to put a stop sign at every intersection and to heck with the increase in air pollution. A pleasant older man was riding one of those old clunkers that I used to have before either gears were invented or I didn't have the money to buy them. It really didn't matter to him how slow the bike was because he kept up to me easily since he never stopped at six stop signs.
Ironically, the area south of Bloor just west of the Humber has been blessed in recent months by a cop of Asian heritage who hides in hedges and jumps out at any motorist who doesn't stop his wheels from turning even if there is no car in sight.
He caught two of my sons and many neighbours. I didn't know really what to think since it annoys me how many drivers in this area just cruise through stop signs. Not as many as the cyclists, but enough.
So why don't we save ourselves and the air and zealous cops a lot of grief and just abandon these silly bylaws that are already ignored by so many. Just let pedestrians run through traffic. Let cyclists belt along sidewalks and through stop signs. Allow motorists to only brake avoid collisions.
Let's have a relaxed attitude towards this scofflawism. What's that, you say? You think we would have a Wild West when it came to traffic. But we have that already. We could stop it from increasing by doubling or trippling the fines for accidents and all the other crushed-metal incidents that will happen when drivers start acting like cyclists.
Come down like the Hammer of Thor on any idiot who can't handle the easier laws and cracks up or rams someone. The rest of the time, just ignore the signs as if you were some innocent kid back on a tricycle before you grew up and were expected to obey all the rules. Silly thought!

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